The Danger of Mimes

Lindsey here. For future reference, only the posts written by me are worth reading-just kidding! (or am I?)

Anyways, for my first posting I thought I'd touch on an issue that is near and dear to my heart: Mimes. No, mimes are NOT near or dear to my heart (unless I'm holding them close to keep them from struggling before the chloroform kicks in), but the issue they present is.
Ahem. Now, to show you exactly HOW serious I am about this subject, I'm going to change fonts.

Here we have indisputable proof that not only are our innocent children being forced to see these disgusting creatures on the streets but are also ENCOURAGED by teachers to interact with them! 
These children are even encouraged to pretend to BE mimes! 

Look at these horrifying photos! 
Do you want this near your children? 

and here we have innocent children forced to imitate mimes in some sort of perverted mimey ritual.

and I don't even want to think about this one!

And what's worse than all of these horrifying photos is the fact that our children are being told that it's okay to behave in mimish behavior! Parents, express your outrage by boycotting your public schools and homeschooling your children! We must show them exactly what we think of their 'speechless' lifestyle choices! 

When we were growing up (disregard the fact that I'm only 18) it was considered a disgrace to have a mime in the family and now...now they're in the media, in our schools, in OUR PARKS, people! THEY ARE IN OUR PARKS! Wake up America! What's it going to take to make you people realize that these monsters are very real? They're very existence is a sin against God who created Adam with a tongue to speak.  If we don't stop this now then who knows where it will lead? Now it's just street performers but one day it could also be a ...Mime President *throws up*

We have to think of our children because they can't possibly think for themselves, and because children are so very dear to me I MUST warp and pervert their minds to suit my own mime-hating purposes. 

Thank you and Goodnight.